Stop Settling for the Volleyball: How to Build a Real Healing Environment

Insights from The Weekly REBOOT

Have you ever felt like healing was just out of reach? Like no matter how much effort you put in, the environment around you keeps pulling you back into pain, anxiety, or isolation?

You are not alone, and you are not stuck.

Healing does not happen by accident. It takes intentional choices, and one of the most important is creating a healing environment filled with safety, stability, and support. But for many of us, the environments we are currently in are not helping us heal. They are actually making things worse.

So what do you do when your surroundings are toxic?

First, Recognize the Power of Your Environment

After trauma, it is normal to want to withdraw from people. But prolonged isolation is not protective. It is destructive. Left unchecked, it affects your body, your mind, your emotions, your relationships, even your performance at work or school. The longer we stay in isolation, the more it hurts us and those around us.

That is why we need supportive circles in our lives. People who walk with us, lift us up, and help us remember who we are and where we are going.

Build Your Circles of Support

Let’s break it down. There are five key “circles” that can make up a healing environment:

1. Your Inner Circle

This one starts with God. Other people may come and go, but God promises that He will never leave us or turn His back on us. He is safe, steady, and always present. Lean into your relationship with Him. It is the most secure foundation you will ever have.

2. Trained Helpers

Sometimes, we need specialized support. This might be a doctor, counselor, pastor, or your REBOOT leader. These battle buddies are trained to walk with people through tough seasons and help you navigate healing with wisdom and experience.

3. Good Friends and Family

Not everyone is safe or helpful, and that is okay to admit. Focus on those friends and family members who are emotionally stable, present, and willing to just sit with you in your pain. You do not need people who want to fix you. You need people who listen, understand, and show up consistently.

4. A Small Supportive Group

Groups like REBOOT or a small Bible study can be a game-changer. These communities give you a space to share, learn, and grow alongside others who truly get it.

5. A Larger Community

This might be your church or another bigger faith-based group. Being part of something larger reminds us that we are not alone and that the world is not all bad. There are still good people out there, and you belong among them.

What Happens If You Do Not?

When we isolate, things start to spiral. We might try to self-medicate with alcohol, food, porn, or other unhealthy escapes. This only deepens our pain and damages our relationships even more. Before long, we are living out a self-fulfilling prophecy. We feel unloved, so we push people away, which makes us feel even more unloved.

But it does not have to be this way.

Time to Take Action

Start small. Make a list of your current support network. Write down names and phone numbers of people you can reach out to when things get tough. If that list is short, that is okay. You can begin building it today.

You were created in God’s image. That means you were designed for connection, not for hiding, not for numbing out, and not for walking through life alone.

So stop settling for the volleyball. Call your people. Build your circle. Healing is possible, and it can start today.

Need help finding that circle? You can join a REBOOT group today by visiting rebootrecovery.com/join.