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What to Do When Trust Is Broken

Insights from The Weekly REBOOT

By: Bryan Flanery

We’ve all been there. That moment where trust—once solid and dependable—suddenly crumbles. Maybe someone let you down. Maybe life hit hard. Maybe it’s not even about others anymore—you’re struggling to trust yourself. So, what should you do when trust is broken?

The Power of a Moment

Imagine this: You come home from work. Your spouse asks if they can go out with friends. You say yes. They tell you they'll be home by 10.

But 10 p.m. comes and goes. Then 10:30. 11:00. Midnight.

They walk through the door at 12:02.

Now what?

At that moment, you’re standing at a crossroads:

  • Will you choose trust?
  • Or will you choose suspicion?

Suspicion says, “They must’ve been doing something wrong. They’re disrespecting me.”
Trust says, “They lost track of time, enjoying a rare night with friends.”

That single decision sets the course for the rest of the night—maybe even the rest of the week.

Trust Is a Choice, But Also a Pattern

Trust isn’t automatic. It’s earned over time. It’s built on patterns of consistency, honesty, and integrity. And while it takes a long time to earn, it can be shattered in an instant.

But here’s something else to remember:
Trust can also be transferred.
If someone I deeply trust introduces me to someone else, I’m more likely to begin that relationship with a level of trust. But even that trust—borrowed as it is—can only grow or break based on future interactions.

So, what happens when it’s not people we lose trust in?

When We Lose Trust in God

This is where it gets personal. Because let’s be honest: we don’t just lose trust in people. Sometimes, we lose trust in God.

When prayers seem unanswered.
When the pain doesn’t stop.
When we feel alone in the battle.

But if we use the same framework—that trust is built on character—we can begin to rebuild.

Scripture tells us:

  • God is good.
  • God knows us—intimately, even counting the hairs on our heads.
  • God has never left us.

And if that’s true…
Then even when we don’t understand the “why,” we can trust His character.

When We Lose Trust in Ourselves

Sometimes the hardest person to trust is… ourselves.

In 2010, I led a team of soldiers in Afghanistan. I was proud of the work we did—and the trust we built. But then I got hurt. I ignored the injury, pushed through the pain, and insisted I was fine.

But I wasn’t.

And when I realized I couldn’t keep up anymore… I lost trust in myself.

Trauma can do that.
Mistakes can do that.
Regret can do that.

But here’s what I’ve learned: trusting yourself again starts not with self-help—but with God-help.

“Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid.”
—Isaiah 12:2

“Delight yourself in the Lord… commit your way to Him… trust in Him and He will act.”
—Psalm 37:4-6

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him.”
—Romans 15:13

So What Do We Do When Trust Is Broken?

Here are 3 simple but powerful steps:

1. Start with God’s Character

When all else fails, go back to what’s unchanging. Remind yourself who God is, what He’s done, and what His Word says about Him.

2. Reflect on Your Experience

God hasn’t just worked in Scripture—He’s worked in your life. Think back on moments when He came through, even if it didn’t look the way you expected.

3. Recognize Your Own Growth

The fact that you’re still here, still trying, still seeking—that’s evidence of God at work. You’re not who you used to be. He’s brought you this far. He’ll carry you further.

 

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