Skip to content

What to Do When Emotions Run High

Insights from The Weekly REBOOT

By: Evans Owens

Since I was young, I’ve been an emotional person. I feel things deeply—whether it’s excitement, anger, or sadness. If I’m excited, everyone knows it! If I’m angry, I feel that too, and it can be tough to diffuse. If I’m sad, there’s no mistaking it. Some people are more stoic, able to manage their emotions with calm control. And while I’ve sometimes envied that level of control, I believe that my emotional intensity serves a purpose in God’s plan for my life.

For example, my passion and anger led me to take action when I saw the challenges faced by soldiers at Fort Campbell. It was this combination of emotion and purpose that helped REBOOT come to life. My ability to feel deeply allows me to connect with others—especially trauma survivors—and I believe it plays a role in how I’m able to listen and relate to them.

Emotions are personal, and everyone has a different relationship with them. But one thing we all have in common is that emotions, when left unchecked, can drive us to react in ways we later regret.

When Emotions Run High

Let me be real for a moment: I’ve been there. There have been times when my emotions ran high, and I reacted in ways I regretted. Whether it was saying something I shouldn’t have, gossiping instead of praying, or shutting down altogether, I’ve experienced firsthand how easily emotions can take the wheel, leaving wisdom in the dust.

I know I’m not alone in this. So often, when our emotions escalate, our wisdom takes a backseat. That’s why today, I want to share a strategy I’ve developed called the SAFE method, a simple framework to help us respond wisely when emotions run high.

The SAFE Method

The SAFE method stands for:

  • Slow Down
  • Ask Questions
  • Find the Truth
  • Express It

I’ve been practicing this method for years to help manage my emotional responses, especially in moments of stress, conflict, or trigger points. The idea is simple: when emotions run high, we can take control by responding thoughtfully and intentionally. Let’s break it down.

S: Slow Down

When emotions are running high, our brains can go into overdrive. Our bodies may respond with heightened stress, and our minds race to deal with the situation. In these moments, it’s easy to react in a frenzy—but that’s rarely helpful.

Here’s the thing: we don’t have to immediately react. By slowing down, we allow our brains the time to shift from emotional impulse to rational thinking. It may feel urgent to address the situation in the moment, but most conflicts don’t require an immediate response. Slowing down is the first step to making sure we don’t say or do something we’ll regret.

Science tells us that when we’re emotionally charged, the logical part of our brain (the prefrontal cortex) shuts down, and the emotional part (the amygdala) takes over. This is where reactions like Fight, Flight, or Freeze come in. But by slowing down, we give our logic brain time to catch up, allowing us to respond, rather than react.

A: Ask Questions

Once we’ve slowed down, it’s time to ask ourselves some important questions. These questions can help us connect to what we’re really feeling and why. Often, our initial reactions aren’t addressing the real source of our emotions.

Here are a few key questions to ask yourself:

  • What am I feeling right now?
  • Why am I feeling this way?
  • What do I need? And where can I find it?
  • Where am I emotionally and spiritually?

Asking these questions helps uncover the truth beneath our emotions and brings clarity to the situation. It also helps us avoid the knee-jerk reactions that don’t serve us well.

F: Find the Truth

Finding the truth in emotionally charged situations can be challenging. Our brains tend to project past experiences onto present ones, which can distort our reactions. But the truth can be found—often through scripture, trusted friends, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

When you slow down and ask questions, the truth will begin to emerge. Sometimes the truth is simple: “You need to let this go.” Other times it’s more complex: “You need to address this problem now.” But each time, it’s rooted in wisdom and peace.

E: Express It

Once you’ve found the truth, it’s time to express it. But not all truth needs to be shared immediately. Sometimes, it’s better to keep the truth to yourself for a while, especially if the situation is still fresh or the emotions are still too raw.

When you do express your truth, do it with wisdom. Be mindful of when and how you share it, and allow God to guide you. Expressing truth at the right time can lead to healing, resolution, and deeper connection.

Conclusion

The SAFE method is a tool that helps us respond wisely when our emotions run high. By slowing down, asking questions, finding the truth, and expressing it at the right time, we can navigate emotionally charged situations with grace and wisdom. It’s not easy, but it’s worth the effort. And as we learn to respond more like Jesus, we’ll find that wisdom and peace begin to rise, even in the midst of turmoil.

Remember these Proverbs as you go through your week:

  • “To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue.” – Proverbs 16:1
  • “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” – Proverbs 16:32
  • “The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.” – Proverbs 17:27-28

When emotions run high, be SAFE.

 

Related Posts